MY ADVICE FOR 2018 (or forever)

Assalamualaikum is a nice way to start, I guess.

So.....

Assalamualaikum (may peace be upon you).

The reason why I wrote what I wrote today is because... I can't quite say what I feel.

It can be dissapointment....

Anger....

Frustration....

Intolerance....

Impatience....

Sadness....

Surprised....

Whatever emotion it is that best describe someone who was always been the one to take a leap of faith into mending a broken relationship.

Growing up, ease my way through being a 19 years old school girl with 19 years old worth of experience, I didn't know much about how to vent out my anger and handle all the stress I had when people hurt me. I was young, selfish and hellish.

Being a Leo, youngest in the family, born in the year of the tiger and well, just simply by being a person who always want to be right.... doesn't help at all. It only make things worse as I kept prioritising myself in everything.

Me, 👏🏻 Myself, 👏🏻 and I 👏🏻.

They didn't teach you about life in school. They teach you numbers, calculations, algebra, language, religion, science and how to obey people. Well, that's all I've learn at least. There is no answers when it comes to the topic of life. There is no right answers to these questions.

"Teacher, what should I do if my friend do bad things to me?" Mine would always say "Forgive them and forget the things they have done to you."

I stayed still for a moment and thinking...

Why would you want to let people that have hurt you a chance to hurt you again?

Why would you want to let people inside your life just to give them enough chances to know your weaknesses and use it against you?

Why would anyone who have done you wrong be forgiven as if the pain would go away? As if it is OKAY? Cause it is obviously NOT okay.

No one is okay when they are in pain. Well, at least they try to be. But trust me honey, they never are.

Heck, I don't think my teachers will ever forgive me if I scratch their car. And trust me when I say she WON'T forget my face as well. I think she'll even put my name up for detention, record my name as the "bad kid" and call my parents up for confrontation.

Simply because, ladies and gentlemen....

Any question about life is easier said than done. Which is why our government is smart enough not to have the subject to be taught in school. Because there is no right answers, there is no rules, there is no superior things in life because everyone have their own life to lead and therefore everyone too have different views on what they think is right.

So, to me.... TO ME (and your opinion is entirely yours)... Don't forgive someone. Don't forget what they did. Don't let them win. Let them remorse and think what they did.

I had friends who said they got my back but they are the ones who backstabbed me and got me in more trouble than I deserve.

I had a 'more than friends' type of friend who said they love me but had sex with their exes behind my back.

I had boyfriends who said they never look at other girls but I found their phones full of sex talk and dirty images about another girl's pussy.

The most painful thing about all of this is that you know they can hurt you, but you trust them not to.

It hurts so much when you know you are betrayed by someone you have given your everything to. You trust them, you love them and are loyal to them with all your might but when you gave them TRUST, LOVE and LOYALTY, they use it against you. They broke the faith you once had for them.

Trust to me, is like an eraser. Once you use them, it won't be back to normal. It will be smaller and smaller to=ill one point, there's no reason to have the eraser around anymore. Thus, one need to self check themselves whether whatever it is they're doing is right or wrong.

People always forget the norms of life so I gotta keep reminding.

1) Treat others the way you want to be treated.

If you want people to be nice to you, be nice to them first. Talk politely. Don't curse more than once in a single sentence for most of the time. Heck, don't curse AT ALL. Know your crowd. Know the type of people you interact with. Can they accept your wild behaviour? Can they accept you being shy and soft spoken? Be alert with changes in their reaction towards you. Don't forget to be kind, let the hawkers of the food stall you go keep the change (you might get a free cup of coffee the next time you came), help people out with their groceries, wait for the others while you're in the elevator, open doors for people and trust me, they will remember your face the next time you see them. You get what I'm saying? TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU. When you do it, more doors of life awaits, more of the future coming for you.

2) You get back what you give.

You want people to celebrate your birthday, then celebrate their birthday. You want people to ask you out, you ask them out first. You want people to always asked how you're doing, you asked about them first. THAT IS HOW YOU GET LIFE TO WORK. One way street isn't for everyone, sweetie. If they don't do it first, it was never a waste to be the first one to start. It's an investment and an investment requires risk. What risk? The risk of being rejected, the risk of being not getting anything in return. From life experience, what I can tell you is that, keep doing it. If the people you contribute to didn't see your effort, other people will, and other people will contribute in you, because life ain't that shit when you see it from a 'helicopter' point of view.

3) Karma is real.

You have two choices in life. Be nice or be mean. I'd say, be both. Be nice, people step on you. Be mean, people hate you. Be both? You can't really say. In life, it's a roller coaster ride; bumpy, turning, sometimes you're down, sometimes you're up, sometimes' you kept on going round and round and sometimes, catastrophe happens and everyone got hurt. So, don't ever TRY to be mean to someone who did absolutely nothing to you. Because if you do, you don't know when your roller coaster ride will hit rock bottom. Because everyone will experience everything, the same type of ride, the same ups, the same downs, the same turns, rounds and catastrophe. How hard it is FOR you, that depends on how well you accepts it. I'm gonna go a bit yizlamik here, Surah Al-Baqarah and my absolute favourite quote in life..... (download the goddamn image, I'm not gonna say it out loud).

But most importantly, what I want everyone to remember is that... not everything you put in life has to be a 100% & not everything in relationship of any kind has to be 50-50. Sometimes, you have to be the bolder, stronger one who carries with her/him the effort of 90-10 to make things work. And Sometimes, you’re the 10 and the other person is the 90. 

It happen simply because in life, it is all about tolerance... endurance... and how much faith you have in what you believe in. In exams, some put 10% effort but had 90% luck. Some even put 100% effort cause they know they didn’t have any luck to rely on. 

In the end, it really comes down to you... yourself and how well you know yourself to make things work out for YOU.

And with that, I bid you all a Happy New Year on the first two months of 2018.

TTYL,

QE.